St. Louis 7, Houston 3: The "waiting for the movers to show up" edition

Here is the weirdest thing I saw in the stands at Opening Day: a fan wearing a John Mabry t-shirt. Are these commercially available? Did the fan perhaps have it custom-made? Was it a member of the Mabry family? Sadly, I didn't find out.

Unsurprisingly, the Astros organization was waving the flag pretty hard at Minute Maid for Opening Day. There was a brass band in combat fatigues -- those trombones are bulletproof! -- that played every military branch's theme song (even the Coast Guard!), followed by a giant American flag, followed by about 20 Purple Heart-sporting veterans throwing out the first pitches. There was some country singer warbling the National Anthem, there was a flyover by a couple of F16s, and my favorite -- "God Bless America" in the seventh inning stretch. Personally the only moment that made me truly proud to be an American was when I was standing in line at the concession stand and looked up to see Barbara Bush dozing off in the expensive seats behind home plate. If you watched the game, you can hardly blame her.

I don't know if it's a sign that I'm already putting some distance between myself and the Astros, but last night's game was not as painful as a six-runs-in-six-innings-by-Roy-Oswalt outing would normally be. The Astros played like a team who have not gelled yet but might one day. Craig Biggio was purely awful at 2B in the first couple of innings -- even the plays he made, he seemed to bobble -- but he settled down, and I'm pleased to report that if the ball is hit directly to him, well, he catches it just fine. No, that is unfair. He made a lovely diving catch in one of the later innings that probably wasn't as difficult as he made it look. But he was 3-for-4 at the plate, and frankly, that kind of performance is very welcome, even though I feel certain that Chris Burke could do the same if he only got the chance.

No, the person who looked truly painful in the field, I regret to say, was Morgan Ensberg, who didn't seem to be able to reach a single ball hit his direction, and who even missed a throw by the cutoff man -- I don't know, one of those plays where the Cardinals got a lot of guys on base, and then scored them after Roy Oswalt gave up a three-run homer. You know what I'm talking about.

The fans in Houston are pretty excited about Luke Scott, who repaid that excitement by going 0-for-3. His first time out to the plate, they played the Imperial March from Star Wars. Presumably he called up to the booth and asked them to please cut that shit out, because for the remaining two at-bats, it was nothing but generic heavy metal.

...

I attended the game with my erstwhile art director and her husband and their kids. Because the game didn't really engage us until two outs in the bottom of the ninth, we spent our time commenting on the new design campaign this season -- black-and-white player photos with their first name in black and their last name in red, plus, for the home team, a tiny little color action shot of the player. Because those shots all feature the red jerseys, each Astro looks as if he has a tiny little devil on his shoulder whispering, "Ground to short! The sooner we finish up here, the sooner we can go meet some strippers!"

We suspect that the Astros got some outside help for this year's campaign, because it looks 1000 times better than the comic book heroes of 2003 and 2004. We had a lot of problems with the leading and spacing, though. I recognize that GRUDZIELANEK is not a name I'd ever want to professionally copyfit, and it doesn't help that the man's ears stick out, taking up valuable design real estate, but that's no reason for a six-inch gap between his first name and last name.

...

The Chronicle says that Oswalt's line last night is deceptive, that he really only made one bad pitch (that'd be the Reggie Sanders home run ball -- Edmonds' home run was pure Crawford Boxes). I am here to tell you they are lying. Oswalt had velocity but is still wobbling a bit on the slider and the changeup. He wasn't helped by the lead gloves wielded at 3B and 2B, but frankly, I expect better.

...

During Bagwell's last at-bat, the stadium A/V guys decided to revive the "swarm of thousands of angry bees" audio from last year's playoffs, in the hopes of firing him up, I guess. It didn't work.

...

Willy Taveras got a double out of a hit that would have barely been a single for any other Astro. Dude is fast. And he looks great in CF. throws like a girl is pleased to announce that she would like to have 10,000 of his speedy little babies, though it would probably be a lot of work to keep up with them.

...

Finally, throws like a girl is sorry to report too that the Undisclosed Midwestern Location is not Chicago nor St. Louis, because at least then I could see the Astros nine times a year. You will probably see me at Wrigley and Busch at least once each this year, though. I'll be the one in the Astros cap and the Oswalt jersey, getting pelted with rocks and garbage in the cheap seats.

Comments

[Nancy]

While the Astro's suck and I don't even consider them to be a baseball team, no one who blogs baseball is 1/10 you. That's why I read.

(So I'm a few days late.)

Excellent as always.

[T]

For several years, I was fortunate to be one of the co-workers TLAG refers to discussing every aspect of baseball. Sometimes we would break on a nice hot, muggy h-town day for some midafternoon catch out behind the building. It's true, she really does throw like a girl. Baseball is somehow the glue that binds us and for that I'm greatful. I remember encouraging her to sit in a chair and listen to the sound of Milo to calm her during a particualr panic attack. Ahhhh...those surely were the days. The sounds of TLAG screaming loudly as the Stros would score a run during a day game against the Cards thus making a particular J crazy with rage. Best wishes to you TLAG and I look forward to meeting you in St Louie!

For the record, even though I had to move a thousand miles before you would share the BLOG, I truley enjoy the read. Every time I read it I imagine you there in your office with the sounds of Trex grunting off in the background and all your pitchers cards lined up on your monitor in order of rotation. Keep up the fun reading and see you soon!

Hugs, kisses and a lap dance or two,
T

[gfoxcook]

Nancy: "While the Astro's suck and I don't even consider them to be a baseball team"

... hey now... what'd they ever do to you? (sniff)

Anywho, heh... good to know that the best Astros blogger isn't taking all the karma with her to STL or CHI, so I appreciate knowing that, thanks. :::nods:::

Anyway, 7-3 loss... sure, sure... 4-1 WIN (with Pettitte on the mound, no less) the very next day makes all the pain go away. God, I love baseball.

[lisa gray]

ensberg has looked a lot better in the past 2 games (with the glove)

biggio isn't missing any plays (so far) - yeah, he don't look like he did 10 years ago but don't none of us. unless he stops hitting, burke ain't gonna get much time

bagwell's "new swing" ain't working...

jason lane looks great with bat and glove.
taveras looks great with bat and glove but needs to work on baserunning
luke scott is lookin better every game - bat AND glove

[Mike Canter]

I love your site. Stumbled across it looking for info on Morgan Ensberg, who is my new $12 utility player. Ugh. Anyway, if you need good seats at Wrigley when you are in town drop me a line.
Mike

[John]

Mabry was a full-time player in St. Louis from '05 to '08. That fan probably got his t-shirt back then. Plus, we Cards fans tend to fall in love with players that play hard, regardless of talent level (See "Hart, Bo" and "McEwing, Joe").